Aries 21st March - 19th April
Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ. Either way you'll be accused of plagiarism Try having ten pints of lager for supper.
Lucky Composer: Vivaldi
Taurus 20th April - 21st May
It's an ill wind that blows no good. Especially after eating beans. Try having hotdogs for tea.
Lucky Philosopher: Aristotle
Gemini 22nd May - 21st June
Recall that a fool and his money are soon parted. Send your donations to me. Try having sausage and chips for lunch.
Lucky Note: Breve
Cancer 22nd June - 23rd July
Too many cooks spoil the broth. Try using about one and a half. Try having lasagne for elevenses.
Lucky Poet: Cocteau
Leo 24th July - 23rd August
You will be encumbered by a cumbersome cucumber. Try having tripe and onions for a mid-afternoon snack.
Lucky Bird: Dodo
Virgo 24th August - 23rd September
You will drink a cup of tea or coffee today. Or maybe a glass of water. Try having cheese on toast for breakfast.
Lucky Architecture: Georgian
Libra 24th September - 23rd October
Your bad breath will cause the extinction of a rare species of woodlouse. Try having pasta bake for a light snack.
Lucky Organ: Intestines
Scorpio 24th October - 22nd November
A long lost tribe will be discovered in the Amazon who have been worshipping you as a god for several generations. Try having truffles for a mid-afternoon snack.
Lucky Organ: Lungs
Sagittarius 23rd November - 21st December
Apparently his bark is worse than his bite. Try having lasagne for elevenses.
Lucky Period: Neogene
Capricorn 22nd December - 20th January
Birds of a feather flock together. They also fart together, but that seldom makes the news. Try having lobster thermidor for a late evening snack.
Lucky Fish: Pollock
Aquarius 21st January - 19th February
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. However, you will miss out on a lot of fun. Try having steak tartare for afternoon tea.
Lucky Bird: Ruddy Duck
Pisces 20th February - 20th March
He who laughs last has the last laugh. Try having spam for a mid-morning snack.
Lucky Bone: Sternum