Aries 21st March - 19th April
Better to be alone than in bad company. That's why Paul Rodgers went solo. Try having oxtail soup for supper.
Lucky Poet: Keats
Taurus 20th April - 21st May
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, especially one with extremenly bad breath Try having cottage pie for lunch.
Lucky Author: Melville
Gemini 22nd May - 21st June
Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ. Either way you'll be accused of plagiarism Try having peanut buttter and jelly sandwiches for a snack between meals.
Lucky Period: Paleogene
Cancer 22nd June - 23rd July
It's an ill wind that blows no good. Especially after eating beans. Try having cornflakes for a late evening snack.
Lucky Bone: Radius
Leo 24th July - 23rd August
Recall that a fool and his money are soon parted. Send your donations to me. Try having suckling pig for a light snack.
Lucky Artist: Seurat
Virgo 24th August - 23rd September
Too many cooks spoil the broth. Try using about one and a half. Try having spam for a snack between meals.
Lucky Organ: Testicles
Libra 24th September - 23rd October
You will be encumbered by a cumbersome cucumber. Try having oxtail soup for a late evening snack.
Lucky Philosopher: Wittgenstein
Scorpio 24th October - 22nd November
You will drink a cup of tea or coffee today. Or maybe a glass of water. Try having prawn curry for dinner.
Lucky Author: Balzac
Sagittarius 23rd November - 21st December
Your bad breath will cause the extinction of a rare species of woodlouse. Try having cottage pie for breakfast.
Lucky Period: Cambrian
Capricorn 22nd December - 20th January
A long lost tribe will be discovered in the Amazon who have been worshipping you as a god for several generations. Try having spaghetti bolognaise for elevenses.
Lucky Philosopher: Copernicus
Aquarius 21st January - 19th February
Apparently his bark is worse than his bite. Try having a bacon sandwich for breakfast.
Lucky Artist: El Greco
Pisces 20th February - 20th March
Birds of a feather flock together. They also fart together, but that seldom makes the news. Try having pizza for dinner.
Lucky Author: H. G. Wells