Aries 21st March - 19th April
You will wake up to find that you have metamorphosed into a giant cockroach. Try having lobster thermidor for brunch.
Lucky Bird: White-bellied Go-away-bird
Taurus 20th April - 21st May
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Especially when he needs money. Try having sausage, egg and chips for breakfast.
Lucky Bird: Babbler
Gemini 22nd May - 21st June
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Or, to put it another way, fair exchange is no robbery in the world of organ donation. Try having shepherd's pie for a mid-morning snack.
Lucky Bird: Bustard
Cancer 22nd June - 23rd July
Better to be alone than in bad company. That's why Paul Rodgers went solo. Try having lobster thermidor for dinner.
Lucky Artist: Constable
Leo 24th July - 23rd August
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, especially one with extremenly bad breath Try having bacon and eggs for dinner.
Lucky Organ: Duodenum
Virgo 24th August - 23rd September
Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ. Either way you'll be accused of plagiarism Try having steak and chips for afternoon tea.
Lucky Cheese: Gouda
Libra 24th September - 23rd October
It's an ill wind that blows no good. Especially after eating beans. Try having ten pints of lager for supper.
Lucky Fish: John Dory
Scorpio 24th October - 22nd November
Recall that a fool and his money are soon parted. Send your donations to me. Try having pizza for a snack between meals.
Lucky Artist: Manet
Sagittarius 23rd November - 21st December
Too many cooks spoil the broth. Try using about one and a half. Try having vegetable soup for supper.
Lucky Period: Ordovician
Capricorn 22nd December - 20th January
You will be encumbered by a cumbersome cucumber. Try having ten pints of lager for breakfast.
Lucky Philosopher: Pythagoras
Aquarius 21st January - 19th February
You will drink a cup of tea or coffee today. Or maybe a glass of water. Try having bubble and squeak for a late evening snack.
Lucky Composer: Schubert
Pisces 20th February - 20th March
Your bad breath will cause the extinction of a rare species of woodlouse. Try having steak and kidney pudding for elevenses.
Lucky Bird: Streaky-headed Seedeater