Aries 21st March - 19th April
You will be abducted by aliens who will offer you tea and biscuits in exchange for your spleen. Try having sausage and chips for a snack between meals.
Lucky Day: Doris
Taurus 20th April - 21st May
You will discover the meaning of life, but lose the napkin on which you wrote it down. Try having toast for a mid-morning snack.
Lucky Poet: Ginsberg
Gemini 22nd May - 21st June
You will wake up to find that you have metamorphosed into a giant cockroach. Try having vegetable soup for a late evening snack.
Lucky Author: J. D. Salinger
Cancer 22nd June - 23rd July
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Especially when he needs money. Try having toad-in-the-hole for supper.
Lucky Philosopher: Machiavelli
Leo 24th July - 23rd August
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Or, to put it another way, fair exchange is no robbery in the world of organ donation. Try having spaghetti bolognaise for afternoon tea.
Lucky Architecture: Norman
Virgo 24th August - 23rd September
Better to be alone than in bad company. That's why Paul Rodgers went solo. Try having pork chops for tea.
Lucky Composer: Prokofiev
Libra 24th September - 23rd October
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, especially one with extremenly bad breath Try having vegetable soup for a late evening snack.
Lucky Philosopher: Sartre
Scorpio 24th October - 22nd November
Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ. Either way you'll be accused of plagiarism Try having Lancashire hotpot for a light snack.
Lucky Cheese: Stinking Bishop
Sagittarius 23rd November - 21st December
It's an ill wind that blows no good. Especially after eating beans. Try having egg and chips for dinner.
Lucky Composer: Vivaldi
Capricorn 22nd December - 20th January
Recall that a fool and his money are soon parted. Send your donations to me. Try having an ice-cream for a late evening snack.
Lucky Philosopher: Aristotle
Aquarius 21st January - 19th February
Too many cooks spoil the broth. Try using about one and a half. Try having tuna mayonnaise for a light snack.
Lucky Note: Breve
Pisces 20th February - 20th March
You will be encumbered by a cumbersome cucumber. Try having stew and dumplings for lunch.
Lucky Poet: Cocteau