Aries 21st March - 19th April
Don't do that, you'll go blind. Try having jelly for tea.
Lucky Artist: El Greco
Taurus 20th April - 21st May
Frogs will rain down from the skies. Don't forget to take your umbrella. Try having cornflakes for breakfast.
Lucky Author: H. G. Wells
Gemini 22nd May - 21st June
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. Try having jelly for a late evening snack.
Lucky Period: Jurassic
Cancer 22nd June - 23rd July
People who live in glass houses shouldn't... you know. Try having suckling pig for dinner.
Lucky Artist: Matisse
Leo 24th July - 23rd August
The end of the world is nigh, so don't bother shaving. Try having tomato soup for tea.
Lucky Mollusc: Oyster
Virgo 24th August - 23rd September
You will be abducted by aliens who will offer you tea and biscuits in exchange for your spleen. Try having a doner kebab for a mid-afternoon snack.
Lucky Architecture: Queen Anne
Libra 24th September - 23rd October
You will discover the meaning of life, but lose the napkin on which you wrote it down. Try having pork chops for breakfast.
Lucky Punctuation: Semicolon
Scorpio 24th October - 22nd November
You will wake up to find that you have metamorphosed into a giant cockroach. Try having stew and dumplings for a mid-morning snack.
Lucky Poet: T. S. Eliot
Sagittarius 23rd November - 21st December
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Especially when he needs money. Try having haggis for breakfast.
Lucky Bird: White-bellied Go-away-bird
Capricorn 22nd December - 20th January
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Or, to put it another way, fair exchange is no robbery in the world of organ donation. Try having cottage pie for tea.
Lucky Bird: Babbler
Aquarius 21st January - 19th February
Better to be alone than in bad company. That's why Paul Rodgers went solo. Try having curry for a mid-afternoon snack.
Lucky Bird: Bustard
Pisces 20th February - 20th March
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, especially one with extremenly bad breath Try having roast beef and Yorkshire puddings for lunch.
Lucky Artist: Constable